I NEED CHURCH!

Had a number of conversations with folks this week, who said they are believers but don't attend a local Church for one reason or another. Usually because they "don't like the people at Church" or they can be "spiritual" on their own.  In my own life, since being a part of the body of Christ, if I missed a week or two, or three or four, I felt it deeply.  I was not the same person spiritually.  The self oriented side of me quickly returned, or at least came to the forefront without obstacles. I don't have a explanation why this is the case, but it is.  Then for 10 years while serving on staff at a Church, I never would miss, unless sick.  I worked and served the Church on Sunday, so there was no excuse to miss.

Now that I am no longer employed at a Church, I tend to find excuses to miss on a regular basis. This was the case heading into Sunday. I have missed the last two Sunday's, one being out of town, and last Sunday, busy cleaning my house! My week has been tough. Just a number of personal issues have impacted my attitude. I went to Church this week reluctantly, largely so my young daughter didn't miss. The sermon series where I have been attending is titled " Love" or something similiar. I didn't feel the love this morning.  I often feel like an "untouchable" or "leper" with much of my old Church community, and I have not really made any significant connections in this new community (Church) yet.  I have dreaded this "Love" series, because quite frankly, I am a failure at love, all kinds of love, and especially the marital kind. So I headed in, thinking as the band began to play, "why am I faking this, no one loves me here", and I certainly question the "love" God has for me. (I get like that when I don't attend Church, which leads to not spending time daily with the God, who really does love me)  And slowly but surely my heart melted, and the Spirit of the living God reminded me deep inside how desperately He does love me. There is something amazing about musically worshiping God with others who are seeking His presence.

And as the Pastor began speaking out of I Corinthians 13, "Love is patient and kind", I thought about how this past few days I have not been patient, or kind.  I've verbalized in front of my children my impatience about many things, including drivers going to slow in front of me. And I haven't been patient and kind with my children.  And I understand that some of the root of that problem, is I have missed Church.  I've missed being challenged by the Word of God, as it is shared from the pulpit. I've missed being encouraged to love others.  John 13:34 says "A new commandment I give you, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another".  I want to blame others for "not loving me".  I can tell you this with all certainty, God has loved me with "patience and kindness", far beyond what I ever could expect or deserve.  He didn't wait until I loved Him, or behaved, or was good.  He loves me where I am at, not at where I should be.  I cannot comprehend why He loves me so much, but I know that He does, and the reminder of that came from being in Church this morning. Sitting with a bunch of imperfect people like me, being challenged to show the love of Christ to others.  Not only to others "who love me first".  Now I guess I could have been challenged in front of a TV, or listening to the Word on the radio.  I'm pretty sure though that God wants me where it's hard, where it's real, and where it gets dirty and bloody sometimes, in the midst of His people in a Church.  I need Church!